The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Vodka?
Forever.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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