so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize