just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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