i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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