I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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