dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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