Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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