why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
