Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Shame - the story of my life.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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