There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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