Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i will never coherently bang her
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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