i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
