I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
