What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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