If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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