so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
They took my balls.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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