O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
