where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
