Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
