have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
