I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
