guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
