I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
