Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
