atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
