:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
