She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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