i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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