Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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