yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
