Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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