plz talk dirty to me
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
