Cold hands, warm shart.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
