But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my shit smells like andre
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
