just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
