either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
