Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
