I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
