I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
