areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
