It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
