you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize