Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
