party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We need to get me chipped asap
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
