Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize