What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize