I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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