Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
