I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
