I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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