I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If I die, sorry about rent.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
