we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
