I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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