Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize