we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
