found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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