are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
