why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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