Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
