i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
