I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize