You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
