You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
