if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
