Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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