considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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