The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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