What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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