How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
